Let's Do This...

A couple of months ago I wrote about how I felt change was on it's way. I think I was right. I think it's starting to creep in as I type this. As of yesterday I am officially moved out of the place I tried to call home the past five or six months and back into my parents house. So, instead of letting feelings of failure overtake me, I have decided to view this as an opportunity for change. Maybe it's because of the realization and fear that I have almost lost my burning desire to wake up in the morning and not waste a second. Maybe it's because I want to change what my happiness depends on. Maybe it's because I have tasted a pinch of change after being hungry for months and my stomach is growling louder than ever for more. Whatever the reason is, I realize I am nineteen years old, working a job with minimal hours, and I'm not in school. Shouldn't I be trying to change the world? Shouldn't I be traveling the world I wish to change? Shouldn't I be creating something - whether it be art, music, tangible, or intangible? Well, I think I should be.

I've recently found myself intrigued by the idea of goals. When everyone else is asleep right before the sun begins to rise, I find myself reading list after list of goals that belong to and mean something to strangers. After doing this for weeks on end, I finally made an ongoing list of my own. Some of these I wish to accomplish over the course of the next year while others will take years to even begin to be accomplished. Call this a list of New Years resolutions, a bucket list, whatever. Just know this is the start of my search for that burning desire to wake up and not waste the day I was blessed with. Let's do this...

1. Step foot on the soil of every state in America at least once.

2. Learn to drive a stick-shift.

3. Have one of my photographs published in a magazine such as TIME, National Geographic, or Vogue.

4. Get married.

5. Live in an old white house with a wrap-around porch before I die.

6. Make a friend at a show or on a flight.

7. Live in Philadelphia for a bit while I'm still young.

8. Own / work at a well known music venue.

9. Get a tattoo

10. Be in a band.

11. Have children -- at least one of each.

12. Learn French or Italian or both.

13. Explore Europe.

14. Learn / memorize the constellations.

15. See the Northern Lights.

16. Go on tour either as a part of a band or as a "merch girl".

17. Collect postcards and send them to my friends periodically throughout the year. (17.2 Start collecting friends addresses.)

18. Learn to fishtail braid. (Completed Jan. 2011)

19. Lead my children to Christ with my husband.

20. Meet and have an in depth conversation with Kanye West.

21. Work at a record store.

22. Relearn the piano.

23. Own a Rhodes Mark II.

24. See Paul McCartney live.

25. Travel aimlessly either by myself or with my best friend for a month.

26. Teach my children how to be polite and dress well.

27. Try sushi.

28. Learn how to make fried okra.

29. Shoot a shotgun.

30. Pull over to watch the sunrise / sunset.

31. Ride a roller-coaster.

32. Meet Chris Chu. Give him a hug for the music he has created.

33. Re-learn how to develop film.

34. Have a darkroom in my home.

35. Own "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" on VHS. (Completed Jan. 2011)

36. Complete a Project 365 the first year of my children's lives.

37. Complete a Project 365 the first year I am married.

38. Pet a lion/tiger without my hands being mauled.

39. See my grandpa again. On my own terms with the right words.

40. Build a model volcano.

41. Spend a couple of days at Yellowstone National Park

42. Get my nose pierced. But be quick to realize if I look silly and need to take it out.

To be continued...